Opening Day of College Baseball – Time to Armor Up

I’ve been watching baseball in a very committed way for almost thirty years now (when I said “I do” to my husband it turned out I was saying “I do” to baseball). Lucky for me I enjoy it. Except when I hate it. Which happens every season at some point. At which time I decide to quit watching.

I quit three times last year, a new record. Coincidentally my son became a college baseball player last year. The stakes shot way up. Now it isn’t just my mortgage riding on the game, it is my son’s heart.

This year I’m going to try something new. I’m going to get out ahead of it. This time I’m going to Evoshield my heart. This year I will hold back some emotion, like setting a limit for how much money you are willing to lose in Vegas. I will leave myself enough to get home.

A few reminders that I think will help me get through:

This is not my circus, these are not my monkeys (I mean one of them is my monkey but I’m no longer his Ringmaster so . . .).  I will go to be entertained and then I will leave. I don’t have to live in the caravan, I don’t have to be part of the postmortem analyzing of the show, I don’t have to chase the monkeys who got out of their cages.

I am going to find the right amount of engagement, where it is enough to be fun, enough of a thrill like riding a rollercoaster, and then I am going to get off the coaster. That was fun, now I’m done. The coaches and players need to stay focused and engaged. They live on the circus grounds, at least most of the time. I don’t.

I’m going to apply my psychology skills – I’m going to remember how we all need to balance the need for stimulation and the need to manage that stimulation and calm down. I will find my window of tolerance. Too little stimulation and life is boring and meaningless. Too much and the body feels tense and overwhelmed, the brain won’t shut off its babbling about dire consequences coming. This is possible. People find their windows of tolerance all the time (maybe not sports fans, but hey I could be one of the first).

I’m going to remember this isn’t about my life at all. I have lots of things I enjoy that are under my control. Things like writing and running and pickleball and the weather (I honestly feel like I have more control over the weather than baseball).

I can do it, right?

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